Deliver Casual

Designs On— Birth

There’s cocktail attire, and there’s cord-cutting attire. Any gentlemen with even a modicum of taste ought to be familiar with both.

To date, trusted sources have proven woefully inadequate when it comes to establishing (or communicating) style rules around the delivery room. GQ, Details, and Esquire are all equally inept. It’s high time to inculcate the virtues of gentlemanly demeanor and proper dress around delivery day. Call it “labor chic.”

It starts with the Deliver Casual kit. In it, men will find: whiskey, to settle the nerves; leather driving gloves, to enhance steering performance en route to the hospital; a red “Kojak light,” to attach to the roof of the car; pre-completed hospital forms (because stylish men arrive prepared); and additional space for reading materials, to pass time in the waiting room.

The only item not included is a list of excuses to furnish when the mother-to-be asks the father-to-be why he elected to wait outside, wearing gloves, drinking whiskey, and waxing lyrical about his days as a single man.